October 2011
29 posts
clientsfromhell:
Client: “When I Google ‘Open Sundays’, our company website doesn’t even come up.” Me: “Why would it?” Client: “Uh, because we’re open Sundays. Obviously.” Me: “There are a lot of places that are open on Sunday, though.” Client: “But I wasn’t looking for those other sites, I was looking for ours. Are you even paying attention!?”
clientsfromhell:
Client: “My computer is frozen!” Me: “What screen is it frozen on?” Client: “The first screen, where it says push ctrl+alt+del to log in. I can move the mouse around, but when I push those buttons it does nothing” Me: “Is your keyboard plugged in?” Client: “No, It’s a wireless keyboard” Me: “Have you changed the batteries?” Client: “This thing takes batteries!? I thought it ran...
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Been here many times!
clientsfromhell:
I visited with my boss, and a client whose website I’m going to do. The client had met my boss before, but not me. So, my boss introduced me: Boss: Well, this is the guy who’s doing your website, Bob. Client: Hi there! So you’re the nerd, right?
“Just throw some fucking flowers or something in there”
– The head of sales, contacting me to design a flashbanner for a botanical garden. (via clientsfromhell)
The oldest one in the book, sadly
clientsfromhell:
Me: “How may I help you today?” Client: “Yes, I can’t seem to move my mouse at all, or do anything. I wanted to send some email invitations!” Me: “Well, it’s probably nothing major. Your computer is probably frozen.” Client: “No!” Me: “Well, bear with me—” Client: “That’s the same thing my son said when I called him about it. I’ve had the heat roaring in the house ever since,...
clientsfromhell:
Client: “Stop typing stuff on my computer. Use your own.” Me: “I’m just installing—” Client: “I don’t care. It will just confuse me.” Me: “But, it’s necessary that you understand—” Client: “Listen, just stop fiddling with stuff. I saw the movie “Hackers”, okay, I know how stealth you people are!”
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Watch
clientsfromhell:
Me: “I got the photos you sent me for the viral marketing campaign, but I’m confused… They’re all of you lying face down on a bed.”
Client: “It’s called planking. Trust me, it’s cool.”
Me: “Ya, I don’t think you quite understand this one.”
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